“We’d Just Find a Way Around It”: Rangatahi on the Realities of a Social Media Ban

When I asked my 14-year-old what he thought about the government's proposed ban on social media for under-16s, he didn’t hesitate: “It’s dumb.”

That one-word response might sound dismissive, but what followed was a thoughtful explanation of the role digital platforms play in his life and the lives of his peers.

“Some people won't be able to communicate. Most of my mates don’t have credit. Like, sometimes we only have Wi-Fi. Like the free Wi-Fi at school or in town.”

This cuts to the heart of what’s missing from the Social Media Age-Appropriate Users Bill: an understanding of the lived experience of rangatahi. Backed by the Prime Minister and modelled after moves in Australia, the bill risks deepening inequities while failing to meaningfully protect young people.

It assumes a level of digital privilege many whānau don’t have. Not everyone has phone credit, private internet or guidance on how to stay safe online.

“Some of my friends don't even have phone numbers.”

For some rangatahi, especially Māori, Pasifika, disabled and rainbow youth, online spaces are essential for identity and survival. My son described kids at school who rely on social media to connect:

“Some people only have friends online. I see a lot of people at school, like, at lunch, they hide and go on their phone. That’s their connection. Sometimes it’s coz they don’t speak English but sometimes it’s coz they find people online who like the same things they do.”

He also talked about how social media keeps him informed and engaged:

“I’d miss being up to date with what’s happening around the world, talking to my mates and watching sports. My basketball coaches couldn’t talk to me or send me workouts, like honestly, I would feel like I was on lockdown or something.”

This bill doesn’t speak to rangatahi, it speaks over them.

Online harm is real. But harm comes not from being online, but from platforms designed to exploit attention and spread toxicity. Algorithms amplify racism, misogyny and misinformation.

Rather than regulating platforms, the bill shifts the burden onto young people. It treats age as the problem, not design.

My son offered an idea: “Maybe there should just be restrictions on the app for younger people.” When I asked what that might look like, he said: “Like when you're messaging, some words could be banned or it could give you a warning... just to make sure you're saying the right thing.”

Digital literacy is key, yet many young people are given devices without guidance. We assume they just know how to stay safe, but skills vary.

When I asked what he’d do if bullied online, he said: “Just block them and make my account private.” I told him not everyone knows that. He replied, “Well you didn’t tell me.” He’s right.

Safety strategies aren’t often taught by adults. They’re picked up through trial, error and peers. I asked who should teach online safety. He thought and said: “Other young people or people, like, that kids look up to like sports players or influencers.”

If we want rangatahi to be safe, we need to give them tools, not just rules. That means investing in digital education, co-designed with young people and delivered in schools and communities.

Let’s be honest: age bans don’t work. Teens find workarounds. When I asked my son what he’d do if banned, he said:

“I’d try and get someone older to make an account for me. Or find an off-brand website or something. When TikTok got banned in the States, they just went on, like, Chinese TikTok. I’d do that. We would just go on our laptops, Google Meet, whatever we have to do.”

Rangatahi aren’t breaking rules to be defiant. They’re staying connected in a world where digital platforms are lifelines. Bans don’t make them safer, they just push them into riskier spaces.

ID checks or facial recognition sound simple, but raise privacy concerns. I asked my son if he’d feel safe handing over his passport to social media:

“No way, because I don't know where it's going and what they do with it. Even emails get leaked, so if I put in something that important, it could just get leaked easily.”

He’s not wrong. Experts warn that ID-based systems risk data breaches and disproportionately affect those without formal ID.

If we want to protect rangatahi, we need:

• Platform regulation, not age bans.

• Investment in digital literacy, especially in underserved communities.

• Te Tiriti based approaches that value digital connection and culture.

• Community-led safety strategies, co-designed with rangatahi and whānau

In the coming weeks, we’ll explore this bill further and share practical resources for families, educators and rangatahi to support safe digital engagement.